Well, here I go...

We leave for Thailand bright and early at 8 AM tomorrow! How exciting!!! Our flight is around noon, and it's about 11 hours long til we reach Tokyo. We'll have a 2 hour layover there, and then a 6 hour flight to Bangkok. I am so excited!!! Please be praying for us, because a bunch of us are really sick! :( And that includes me, unfortunately. I'm not looking forward to being on the plane with my throat, ears, and head aching up a storm. So your prayers are much appreciated!

Most of you know that I love music, and there have been about 3 songs that have been my "theme songs" I guess during this DTS. I posted the lyrics to one already, and I wanted to share another one with you. It's a pretty popular song, but the lyrics (especially the chorus) describe so much of my DTS experience and what I've learned just about living life.

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


I just wanted to share that with you. :) Thank you for your prayers, love, and support. I am so excited to minister to the people in Thailand and see what God has for us!

A break

This Christmas break has been a nice time to just relax and kind of process everything I've learned and experienced over the past 12 weeks. Even though I've had these past few days, I don't think it's quite enough, I think I'll always be chewing on what DTS has been for me. But I am so struck right now with how temporary this season of my life is right now. Coming into DTS, I was so aware that it was only 6 months of my life, but as the days went on and I adjusted to the schedule, etc it just became real life. But now as we're about to head out to Thailand, I'm painfully aware that this is all going to be over on March 10th. I really don't want it to be! I can never re-live the lecture phase of my DTS ever again. I don't really regret anything... well, maybe just making the most of my time there, but anyone can say that for any circumstance. I'm just sad that it's going to eventually end! After March, I won't be living, sleeping, eating, praying, worshipping with these people anymore. I am so thankful that I've had the experiences I've had and that I've met the people I've met, and my heart aches a little that it's going to be over way too soon.

And then there's the looming question: "What are you doing when DTS is over?" I don't really know. Right now I'm planning on living in Pennsylvania with my family friends for a season, but after that? It's foggy. God has given me a dream to transform the nation of Indonesia, and I know that's in my future, but I just don't know what the next step is. There's always the opportunity to go on staff with YWAM. I could staff DTSes. I could pioneer a new ministry. I could propose Indonesia to be one of the omega zones the Salem base focuses on. I could do a School of Frontier Missions with YWAM. I could walk away from YWAM altogether. I could get a job. I could work in a different ministry. The possibilities are almost endless! It's pretty awesome to think that I have that many opportunities to choose from, actually. I'm really confident that God will give me direction on what to do. But my mind still wanders...

It's just been nice to breathe and reflect. Reading over my blog, I'm a little vague I think on the details of what DTS has been. I've written a lot of: "I learned so much!" And it's true, I have, but it's almost like I didn't even know where to begin with everything that I've learned. I feel silly in some ways, because I didn't necessarily learn radically new things in class, but for some reason I've finally soaked it in. I've heard my entire life that God loves me, but it took 22 years until I was sitting in a lecture called "Identity and Destiny" with Troy Sherman that I actually understood it and believed it. Really, truly believing something like that changes your life. I think the biggest thing has just been really understanding that God created me, I have a purpose, there is a unique destiny that God has planned for my life, He has gifted me in a unique way, etc etc. And it's not just me, it's everyone! I memorized John 3:16 when I was 5, but I never really lived as if "God so loved the world". But He does. Everyone is valuable. God has taught me so much just through relationships and living with people; lessons on grace, forgiveness, love... it never ends.

I guess I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I'm just trying to process and understand. But, man, I really don't want DTS to end...

11 days until Thailand!

The Lecture Phase is officially over! I can hardly believe how fast these past 12 weeks have flown by! Last week we had Art and Ellen Sanborn here to talk about Cross-Cultural Missions. They had such amazing stories of their time on the mission field, and also practical advice to give to us. Since they have been working in Thailand for the past 25 years, we were able to learn a ton of Thai culture and also some Thai phrases. Sa Wat Dee Kha! Anyway, during the week, Art and Ellen divided us into two groups and we played a missions game. Each group was given instructions on what their culture was like and then 2 missionaries from the other team were sent over to try to tell us about Jesus, while learning and respecting the culture. Even though we all spoke English, this certainly was really challenging! It was a whole lot of fun too, and really I think a practical example of what it's like (even though it was very lighthearted!) Also during this week we read the book Letters From A Skeptic by Gregory A. Boyd.

For the past two days we have been learning a ton of dramas. I think we've learned five! People have been really impressed with how quickly we have been catching on, and it definitely is encouraging. There is one drama in particular that is really powerful, it's called "Locked" and it's to the song "Locked In A Cage" by Skillet. It's the one drama that we really need to nail down in the next few days before we leave. But we'll get there!

Last night was our commissioning at The Rising, which is like a church service for the whole base. Rachel and Younsoo spoke about what DTS has been like for them, Dave gave a little word of encouragement, and Amy talked about what exactly we'll be doing in Thailand. Then people prayed over us individually. Last week we also had the Base Intercession time devoted to us and people prayed for us individually there, too. For weeks and weeks, Younsoo has been telling me that I am gifted with a mother's heart. I always thought it was sweet that he said that, but last week at intercession and then also this week, 2 different people that I don't know that well have told me that! It's really kind of cool, actually. To be more specific, last night someone said that she really feels like I need to be gentle and caring to the Thai women, and not be afraid to be tender and hug them, mother them, etc. So, that's really neat! I'm really excited to have this understanding of being gifted in this way and I'm excited to see how God is going to use it.

Please be praying for our team, especially over Christmas break! I think the break will be good for our team, but I'm really going to miss everyone that's going home.

The Lecture Phase is coming to an end...

Hey everyone! I apologize that I haven't been as good at keeping you updated with what's going on. For some reason after The Go Conference at the end of October, things have been so crazy! Our schedule has been pretty jam packed.

I left off on November 10th, so let me pick up at the beginning of the next week, on November 13th. Our speaker that week was a man named Fred Allen who is local, from Salem. He has actually never been a part of YWAM, but has spoken at a ton of DTSes. His lecture is always incredibly Biblical, but he's also really charasmatic. He spoke on "The Word Rightly Divided", which was basically just understanding the power of the Bible and how to better apply the Word to our lives.

The next week was Thanksgiving Week, so we only had a 3 day lecture. Our speaker was Dean Sherman, who is one of YWAM's most famous speakers and authors. It was amazing to have him again! He spoke on "Spiritual Warfare", and I think it was one of the most powerful weeks we've had thus far. I learned so much, and Dean's teaching always oozes Scripture... which I love. That week, we also had a DTS from a base in Washington here, as well as a school with another organization called Mandate. Our classroom which normally has about 25 people was filled with at least 75 I think! It was crazy, and I definitely liked the smaller classes better. :) But it was really good to meet new people, and to hear about the other DTS and what has been happening with them. Also during this time, we were reading the book Humility by Andrew Murray. It's a very simple book, but really powerful and convicting at the same time. You should check it out!

So, we had a short week that week as Thanksgiving Break started on Wednesday at noon. A lot of my classmates went home for Thanksgiving, but Younsoo and I stayed behind. We had a great time bonding and getting to know each other better, and Mike was also here for most of the break. Being away from a lot of people, though, really made me miss them! It's so awesome how quickly I have bonded to the people here, and how easily it is to miss them even if it's just a couple of days. It was also fun to have Thanksgiving dinner here on base... it was very international! There was a ton of Asian food, Mexican food, Italian food... everything! :)

The next week, November 27th, was a teaching on Biblical Worldview. Our speaker was Colleen Millstein, who is the director of a YWAM base in Switzerland, but she's originally from South Africa. Colleen was our first woman speaker! Yeah! This whole week I was thinking about my mom and my sister, Leslie, because they would have loved it. Colleen really challenged us with questions such as: "What is a human? What is reality to you?" etc etc. These are questions that I notoriously dislike, because it can evoke a lot of arguments (yes, the abortion can was definitely opened), but it was awesome to be challenged to really think and discuss things. God taught me a lot about how to "love Him with my mind"... that phrase is often tossed around here, and it really feels like almost a new concept to me. But, it was really, really good. Colleen made us see that often times we don't live out what we say we believe. It was definitely a convicting time. Also this week I read the book Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller. It was a pretty good book, if you ever feel like checking it out, you should definitely read Chapter 5!

So, that brings us to this week. Fred Allen is speaking again, and the topic is "Holy Spirit". Class has been a little different this week, because we've been doing a more discussion format and really digging into what the Bible says about the Holy Spirit. I feel so clueless and like I've completely neglected the Holy Spirit! Sadly, I have never really taken the time to see what the Bible says about Him, so I'm loving this week for sure.

Our team has also been doing a lot of preparation for our outreach to Thailand. This week, we learned one drama that we're going to be doing to the song "Arise, My Love". Also, the Galileans are going to be teaching us a couple of dramas to do in Thailand. All of us have been assigned different ministry roles while we are there, too. Mike, Darcey, and Ian will be doing ministry development which is basically coordinating our ministry over there... Rachel will be in charge of food... Younsoo will be in charge of our worship & prayer times... and I will be doing Misc/Admin jobs and also will be in charge of a team journal... everyone also has secondary jobs to cover in case someone is sick. It's becoming even more real that we are really going to Thailand. It is so exciting! Please be praying for Rachel, as she needs to raise all of her outreach money. She is probably going to have to go on a different plane, so just be in prayer for her during this time.

Our team has had a lot going on in the past few weeks. Ally was recently in a car accident, which worsened her previous back injuries from a car accident she had a few months ago. Her doctors just advised for her to not go on outreach, so sadly, she won't be going. She also hasn't been living on base for a few weeks. Just be praying for her health and what exactly God wants her to be doing right now. Please be praying for team unity and our outreach coordination, too.

I have class in just a few minutes, so I really need to go. Thank you again so much for all of your love and support. I am so thankful for you!